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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.