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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
Calling someone with glasses “four eyes” isn’t an insult. Know what else has four eyes? Two sharks. Now you feel stupid.
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.