Daily Silly Status

I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.

Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days

I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.

I have this talent of getting tired without doing nothing.

It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.

Mustaches: 1. Like them or not? 2. Should you refuse to go out on a date with someone just because she has one?

I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"

I told my wife that I have a sexual satisfaction guarantee policy. If you`re not completely satisfied, we`ll just do it all over again. Guaranteed.

When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.

When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)

They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.

I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.

I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.

I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...

I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.