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If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work