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Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea!
Little to no thought was put into this status.
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.