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If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
When you are a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since I last saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.