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I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
Can`t afford P90X or INSANITY workout videos? Go find a wasp nest and slap the sh!t out of it. Never knew I could shadow box,bicycle kick,and twirl while floating.
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of sh!t you don`t need.
I never finish anyth...............
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."