Daily Silly Status

if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.

I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad

I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................

If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.

I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!

I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.

Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart

Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....

Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.

Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!

Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!

ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"

If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich