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The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse is pretending I’m not excited.
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.