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The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
is available for rebound sex.
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task.
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life