Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.