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I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
insert coin to view my status
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D