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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
I once peed a girl`s name in the snow, so don`t fcuking tell me I don`t know romance.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. β€œMy name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
If Olympic drinking was an event I would probably take gold in the floor routine.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
I like to refer to myself as a "Second-hand Vegetarian". Animals eat grass. I eat animals.
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
I always thought I looked like romeo, until I washed the picture off my mirror...
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.