Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
Little to no thought was put into this status.
So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I`m pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.