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The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
Gun Control: Use both hands
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
I drink coffee for your protection.
Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.