Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
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"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
Somehow I`m not nearly as overjoyed with this vegetable slicer as the woman on the infomercial was.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!