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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
Ran into the girl who broke my heart. Totally worth the damage to my car.
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.