Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Wanna ruin a girl’s day? Respond to her next text with “Who is this?”
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?