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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
There is no time to check time
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.