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You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day
How`d this get posted?
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.