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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
Im going to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people`s cars saying "sorry for the damage." Then watching the magic.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
I said my wife`s name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet`s empty...
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen