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Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
I believe in karma, which is why I`m such a d!ck to total strangers, just in case they deserve it.
I bet if you were in a city getting attacked by huge sci-fi monsters youd run and scream but in the back of your mind youd be like “awesome”
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
I’m pretty good at keeping my sh!t together. Until there’s a bee around.
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.