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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I`m OK, but I feel like I`ve dyed a little inside.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.