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I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.