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Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
Who`s up for some curling in my driveway?
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
Camping is fun if you`re into pretending that you`re homeless.
about love
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
The statement `Hey! Calm down!` has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
It`s not stalking if you love them!