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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
What does lolz mean...Laugh out loud zebras?
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Is it just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message like looking directly into the sun?
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!