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When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told. Twice now.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?