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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it`s not in my way.
According to my nipples, there;s a ninety-nine percent chance it`s cold as f*ck outside.