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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
When in doubt, take a nap.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I`d rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.