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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
Had a pizza today without extra cheese. Dieting is hard
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.