Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
If the conversation gets too serious and uncomfortable, take your pants off.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want