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Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Just once...one time; can`t we buy a tree that doesn`t try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Hey Dog Walkers, technically, that dog can walk on its own. What it can`t do is pick up it`s own poop. You`re just a poop collector.
There is only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water lying about being milk.
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
Do angry people know about naps?
Next time you`re down in the dumps...pick me up a spare tire!