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I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they`re looking for ideas.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.