Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....