Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
Sometimes I wish that I could put my wife on airplane mode.
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
I wish I had the kind of life my spam folder thinks I have!
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
New philosophy on life: Do unto others, then run like hell.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)