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I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job there.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord, BRB - Burn Religious Books, TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.