Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What number SPF blocks people?
happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I`m bored.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?