Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Marriage. Because your sh!tty day doesn`t have to end at work.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
My pants are 75% off.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.