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I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.