Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......