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The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.