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Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
I`m tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. Does anyone have any new mistakes I can borrow?