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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
I feel bad for kids nowadays who can`t get the toys they want because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
I`m just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
It´s never to late to be happy
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....