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2 words, 1 finger.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.