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Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
Caught myself yelling "F*CK YOU" to my burrito for dripping on my pants, if you were wondering who`s raising the next generation.
I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!