Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
I don`t eat a high fiber diet to be healthier, I eat so I`ll have to $hit more at work.
When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don`t believe you."
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!