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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
The only technique I`ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen.
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong