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As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
My mind says diet, but my stomach is all SHUT UP BITCH.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat