Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
really vry funny
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “Shh, not another word,” is super romantic but cops don’t seem to think so.
I just slammed hard on the brakes and found 3 lighters, $4.67 in change, condom box, empty flask, half an 1/8th, and a puppy.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
I always ask my waitress to name everything that comes in the salad then I respond “OK perfect, I want a cheeseburger with none of that on it.”