Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.
I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don`t know what he laced them with but I`ve been tripping all day.
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
I just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ... "Probably just sh!tfaced."
I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?