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What number SPF blocks people?
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
I found out last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee is sleeping right through it.
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married