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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don’t you eat all the food?
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad.
Asking a guy, "Are you done with that?" & pointing to his girlfriend, is frowned upon. Apparently.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.