Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and its just me laughing at my own jokes.
I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
School was so much easier when 2 plus 2 equaled 4 instead of "X." Whoever decided to involve the alphabet in math deserves a solid punch to the face.
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...