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Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
Sometimes, entire relationships can be chalked up to, "that weird thing I did for a while."
There`s no WE in pizza.
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.