Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
When will math grow up and start solving its own problems
I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.
Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the sh!t out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?