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Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
I`ll tell you what`s wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!