Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
I only drink alcohol because there aren`t enough ways to eat it.
Little to no thought was put into this status.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
"You`re going to love my friend. He`s hilarious." is still the best way to know you`re about to meet an annoying person.