Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
A leaf blower, but for people.
I`d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?