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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
I have hit the age where sex and choosing the exact right size Tupperware for leftovers are equally satisfying...
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...