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In alcohol`s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
If you ever disappeared while hiking, Iād remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
Iām pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?