Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!