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The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now Iām drunk.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.