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Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Cheetos so my fingers don`t get orange..... P.S. No weirdos.
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."