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Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Lazy Fact #69302246777573 - You were too lazy to read that number.
Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.