Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
If you ever disappeared while hiking, I’d remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
“I saw that.” -Karma
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)