Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
A wise man, will often say nothing
Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
When you`re out & your cell battery is low: 1) lower screen brightness 2) turn off WiFi 3) crawl under table 4) weep softly til help arrives
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there`s lunch brought in for everyone
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?